You are not a Jedi yet, young gardener

Corner house + double lot + 10-foot parkways = whole lotta lawn. And that lawn had been ignored for years when we bought the house. Moving in, we admired the pretty white flowers covering the grass.

Uhhh. Yea. Those would be bindweed flowers. Bindweed, nicknamed "Devil's Guts," is an invasive weed with roots 20 feet deep and 30 feet wide. Or more. Even the tiniest bit of root propagates a new plant. Not that that's necessary: the seeds are viable for 60 years.

Once I realized what a monster it was, I knew I had to get rid of it. So, being a devout organic gardener, I tried heavy mulching, black-plastic solarization, clear-plastic solarization, hoeing, tilling, pepper spray, vinegar spray, weed torches, salt, soap, hand pulling, and ultimately hair pulling. I kept reading cheery accounts of how these methods worked on any weed, but my 7,500 square feet of heavy, well-established infestation gave not an inch.

So I began reading up on chemicals.

It's a classic tale of how one goes to the dark side. I was desperate and both 2,4-D and glyphosate, ingredients in common herbicides, lured me with magic bullets — they supposedly killed bindweed. So I dutifully researched what these chemicals do once released into the environment and decided it was OK; I could indeed bed down with Monsanto.

One trip to the hardware store later, I was suiting up in full haz-mat gear. In the flower beds (I wasn't yet growing veggies), I delicately painted Round-up on bindweed leaves with a brush. The lawn I sprayed.

Bindweed leaves started turning brown within hours. And, after a couple of applications, the plants died. They DIED. Jay dubbed Round-up "Die Mother F*%#@~*!," which I shortened to DMF.

DMF became a big part of our lives, and our vocabulary. It could be a noun: "I need to buy more DMF." A verb: "I just DMF'ed that." An adjective: "The DMF'ed leaves are already brown." You get the drift. It got to the point where I forgot the actual name of the product. When friends asked how I was finally winning the war on bindweed, I just went blank. "My ally is the force and a powerful ally it is?"

I started this fight over ten years ago. Almost all the bindweed is gone. Yea, "almost all." I don't think I'll ever be completely free of it and I don't think I'll ever be completely organic again. But I'm OK with that.

Perhaps I'm older and more mellowed or perhaps I've learned that gardening, like life, offers little perfection. You get things as good as you can and you try to enjoy the process. You know, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And when life gives you bindweed, you get our your rubber gloves, your raggedy foam brush and your jar of DMF.

Wren

Michael Pollan lecture

"Lean in!" That's the new catch phrase, isn't it? And here I am doing exactly that as Michael Pollen talks about his new book, "Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation."

I've long been a fan of Pollan's, starting with his very first book, which was about his discovery of gardening. Of course, once he got on the topic of food, he really had me, since it's one of my main interests.

His new book, as the title suggests, is about cooking. I haven't read it yet, but in the lecture, he offered a few tidbits. The book covers some of the history of cooking and its effect on the development of human beings. It also talks about what impact cooking has on your health. He said whether or not you cook is more of an indicator of your overall health than the types of food you eat. He also said that, on average, Americans spend more time watching TV shows about cooking than actually cooking. Hm...interesting. And surprising. I can hardly wait to read the book!

Wren

Presidents' Day Party...decorations

The invitations, the food, the food labels, even the extra food labels are all done. How about some decorations?

In addition to red, white, and blue dishes and napkins, I've got balloons and streamers to put up. Maybe you'll even want some bunting for your table.

Then, for extra fun, I searched the internet for presidential campaign posters, glued them to colored paper and strung them up on giant red rick rack. It was easy and you can find tons of posters on-line. Here are a few to get you started.

Presidents' Day Party...more food labels!

My RSVPs are coming in and fast and furious and people are offering to bring food! My food will all have fun, crazy labels on it. It just seems polite to have labels for what other folks bring.

So, I've created a few more general labels to have ready for other dishes. These would also work if you have a favorite party dish you want to serve but it didn't fit in with any of the labels I gave you already.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Presidents' Day party...food labels

You've sent out the invitations and made all the food, now here's a way to let people know what they're eating at your party. Just print and cut out these labels. They can be attached to bowls with clothes pins or stuck right into the food with kabob sticks. Maybe just use ribbons to tie them to serving baskets.

For bonus points, decorate them with stickers, fringe or other trim!

Presidents' Day Party...food

Are you throwing a Presidents' Day party with me? We've sent out the invitations, now we're deciding the food.

You could go with recipes that Presidents and their wives actually used. Here's a link to a few of those. There's even a cookbook you can get for some more.

But I've decided to go a bit wackier. Here's my menu:

Buchanan Bourguignon
Theodore Rollsevelts
Washington Redskins
Lincoln Logs
FDROs
Bushmeat
Millard Filberts
Chestnuts A. Arthur
LBJ PBJs
Calvin Coolwhip Cake
Ford Model Tea

Although I want the food to be fun and definitely tasty, I've tried to choose things I can either purchase pre-made, make ahead, or just aren't too labor intensive.

For the Buchanon Bourguignon, you can use any Beef Bourguignon or beef stew recipe and throw it in the slow cooker. Here's an example on Food.com.

For the Theodore Rollsevelts, go easy by purchasing some nice bakery rolls, or get crazy ambitious with something off the King Arthur Flour site, like these.

For Washington Redskins, these from Domestic Fits sound delicious, but you could just as easily top boiled baby red potatoes with a store-bought sour cream dip.

Lincoln Logs? Go easy with store-bought cheese logs. Or try this one from Martha Stewart.

FDROs You could go way simple and just get a bag of Funyuns or make something like this Cheerios snack from food.com

Bushmeat? Think deli tray. I'm getting some delicious sausage from our local Lithuanian bakery.

Filberts are another name for hazelnuts. Here's a great-sounding recipe for spiced hazelnuts from Oregonlive.com

For Chestnuts A. Arthur, I'll have to find a place to buy chestnuts so I can make this from bonappetit.com. If not, there's no shortage of recipes on line for bacon-wrapped water chestnuts.

LBJ PBJs will be peanut butter and jelly cookies. Foodnetwork.com offers this chocolaty one with blackberry jam or here's a more classic one from Martha Stewart.

Your Calvin Coolwhip Cake could easily be a whipped cream cake from the store, or one of the many recipes on-line. Or try something more subtle (with no apparent whipped cream!) like this Martha one.

Ford Model Tea can come in many colors, as long it's black. To keep it caffeine-free, think blackberry. Make your own, go easy with teabags, or spice it up a bit, ala the mayo clinic!

Lots of ideas there. And soon I'll post some fun labels you can print out and put next to each of these items. I'll also post some decoration ideas.

Happy party planning!
Wren

Super easy, super dark curtain liners

How dark is your bedroom at night? Lots of studies show that the darker it is, the better you sleep. So if your curtains are too thin to block much light, here's a tutorial for you!

I choose black ripstop nylon for my liners because it really blocks light and it's lightweight. (Just make sure your curtains are heavy enough that you can't see the black through them.) I then lined the liners with muslin because I didn't want it to look, from the outside, as though I have black curtains!

To get the width of your liner, measure the distance on your curtains between the side hem stitching lines. (So not quite the full width of the curtain.) To get the length, measure from the bottom of the rod pocket to about half-way down the bottom hem. Add 1/2 inch seam allowance on all sides. This is how much ripstop nylon you'll need. Now add 4 inches to the width and 4 inches to the length. This is how much muslin you'll need. I was making two curtain liners but I got them both out of really wide muslin.


Cut a 4 inch strip off the length of the muslin and pin it (right sides together if it matters) to the nylon 3 1/2 inches from the bottom. Sew at the 1/2 mark. (You're sewing 4 inches from the bottom of the nylon.)


Flip the muslin over and press. If you've sewn a little inacurately and it doesn't quite line up, just trim off the longer piece, whether it's the nylon or the muslin. You want them the same length.


Pin the large piece of muslin (which should now be the same length but 4 inches wider) to the nylon, right sides together.

Stitch 1/2 inch from the edge.


Now stitch 1/2 in from your first line of stitching.


Take the muslin and pinch it over on the edges to create a pleat of about 1/2 inch. Do this on both sides. What you want is to take up that extra 4 inches of width so that the muslin is the same width as the nylon. Adjust the pleats until the muslin is nice and flat across the width of the liner. Pin in place and stitch the bottom of the liner with 1/2 seam allowance.

Do the same with the top of the liner as well but leave a gap of about 5-6 inches for turning.

Turn the liner right side out.


Press. The nylon side of the liner will have about a 3 1/2 inch band of muslin at the bottom and about 1 inch on the sides. At the top of the liner, the muslin and nylon are even. At the gap you left for turning, press under 1/2 inch. You'll be stitching over this in a minute so you don't need to sew it closed.


Find the center of the curtain and the center of the liner by folding each in half and pinning. Line up the centers and pin the liner, nylon side to the wrong side of the curtain, just under the rod pocket. Work your way out to the sides, pinning the liner in place. If the widths aren't exact, try easing in the fullness as best you can, so that the liner comes just to the edge of the side hem. It's your choice whether to pin from the liner side or from the front of the curtain but it's much more accurate to sew from the front. (I first pinned from the back, to make sure the liner was right up next to the pocket edge. Then I moved the pins to the front.)


Turn the curtain over and sew about 1/4 inch lower than the rod pocket stitching line. Make sure you use the right color top and bobbin threads. If you're using two different colors, like I did, make sure the tension is correct on your machine, so the thread doesn't peek through.

From the back of the curtain, you'll have just caught the top of the liner, just below the stitching line for the rod pocket.


Hang up the curtain and tack the liner in place, about half way down the sides and at the bottom corners.

Enjoy your nice dark curtains!
Wren